Angie Demaskau posted a nice comment to my last entry:

I guess it comes as no surprise that I say, nah – not uncomfortable at all. I identify with the question you posed. Heck, I am sure most like us have pondered which of those labels best describes us. For some it may be easy and straight forward, but I am sure there are many who identify with aspects of two or more of those definitions. making the decision about which is more applicable can be the defining moment. This experience is such an individual thing, and for me, I don’t try and use labels as a defining thing. If someone says to me “I am a …..”, then it helps me understand where they see themselves, helping me identify with them in one way or another. Ultimately though, it is the quality of the person – their attributes, personality and values that truly defines who they are and whether they are someone I would like to know.

She makes a couple of very important points here. First, that the labels people use for themselves often define themselves to others. Which is why you need to chose labels carefully.

Second, that it is the quality of a person which matters. I know someone who, the first time I saw them, was dressed in the most provocative outfit you could imagine. She got looks and whispers behind her back, and even I thought she was being a bit tacky. When I ran into her later that night, sitting on a patio, I talked to her and found out she was a very intelligent, very interesting person.

Sometimes, you need to put away your preconceptions and accept the real person there.