What’s the big deal? Thursday, Dec 6 2012 

A couple of things converged this week that forced me to go to Sephora. First was a Friends and Family $15 gift card; second, that I was $51 short to make their Very Important Beauty Insider program. So while out Christmas shopping yesterday I stopped in at the store in Northpark Center.

I picked up a few things and one of the SA’s offered me a basket to carry them in. He asked if there was anything I needed help finding. I then explain that no, I’d found what I needed to get (a new tube of Urban Decay Primer Potion) and was just kind of looking around for things I wanted so I could get up to my VIB status. That I had to also figure in my discount meant doing math in my head-which is kind of dangerous…

I did find things I wanted and went to the checkout counter. I gave her my gift card and my Beauty Insider card so she could give be credit. She asked if I was shopping for presents; I told her I was shopping for myself. Now it might help if I mentioned that I was in drab at the time, not very feminine looking at all. She just went, “Oh” and proceeded to check me out, remarking that she loved Primer Potion. I told her I did too-it keeps eye shadows in place.

Thing is, this happened last week, too. Not at the same Sephora; I was in the one in the Galleria looking for a concealer and the SA asked who it was for and I told her myself (again, in drab). I use Makeup Forever HD foundation, and she thought their HD concealer would be a good match. She used my foundation shade to pick out a couple of concealers; when we tried them on the foundation one was an obvious choice. And of course-she was out of that particular shade. They were getting more in this week, and she gave me a sample to try. I am waiting until I can try the sample, but if it works as well as it did in the store I will be back.

Now, I have been rambling on about makeup. But if you have been paying attention, you may have noticed something. Both of these encounters were in mainstream stores where I was not only in drab, I did not hide the fact that the products were for me. I suppose I could have made up something, but you know what? Why bother? They don’t care-it’s another sale. And if I had been too shy or too worried to say it, I wouldn’t have found a new concealer.

Sometimes we worry too much about what people will think. A retailer that is successful is not going to do something to make you not want to shop at their store. A good salesperson wants you to spend your money, and if you’re pleasant and reasonable they will go out of their way for you. Because our money is as green as anyone elses…

So, go shopping. And don’t worry about what people thing. Worry about your credit card and the damage you’re doing.

Same as it ever was Monday, Nov 19 2012 

Four years ago, I wrote this about going to the Dallas Fetish Ball:

The Church is too small for the event; you can’t walk around or talk to people. The stage is hard to see unless you’re upstairs on the balcony. They’d moved the “play space” outside to the porch, which meant the place you could go if it was too noisy was unavailable unless you wanted to climb up to the rooftop-which was freezing. And the “energy” was…not there. Sure there’s a lot of people dressing up, but you kind of felt like that’s what it was-dress up. The people who I knew were seriously into the lifestyle who were there sort of stood out. Am I being jaded? Maybe? We left about 12:30-and people were still waiting to get in.

I know this is a big event in Dallas-between this and the Black and Blue Ball (done by the same people) there’s no other open fetish events. It’s a professional event, with lots of performers (though they seem to be the same ones every year). So they should know what they are doing. And considering the state of fetish/bdsm in Dallas, I shouldn’t be critical. But do you support something because it’s there, or do it because it’s worth your time?


So, what’s changed? The venue is still too small-by 11 PM it was nearly impossible to get around and once the show starts forget about moving. They put in a larger stage that’s higher so you can see things a bit better but if you’re not in  one of the reserved seats on the balcony you it’s difficult. They got rid of the outside play space years ago, and the indoor space is taken over by a vendor’s area.

There was a new twist this year-every seat in the Church was reserved. Including the benches in the front bar area. So there was no place to sit down until after 11 PM when they opened the rooftop, and if you got lucky you could grab a seat on one of the couches. Fortunately it was not a cold night, and there was no bar open.

The show? Well, if you’ve seen one fetish show…

At least this year they maintained the dress code most of the time I was there. And I got to see a couple of people from Twitter who were fabulous. But by midnight, I was ready to go.

I really want to like the Fetish Ball unreservedly, but I just can’t. Maybe I am getting too old for this…

Driving Thursday, Apr 12 2012 

Me driving; a test post to see how I do inserting images.

Going to The Church Monday, Jun 6 2011 

The Sunday of Memorial Day weekend I finally got out to The Church-first time since November. Because The Church is only on Thursday and Sunday nights, it’s hard to find people to go out with me. But since it was a Monday holiday…

It took me longer than normal to get ready-I just couldn’t find the right outfit. I got dressed, and within ten minutes I hated what I was wearing. So I had to get dressed all over again, and barely made it out of the house in time. I decided on something Gothy but basic-sheer black t-shirt that I got off eBay years ago, black cami underneath, my red and black leopard print corset from Timeless Trends, the black lace covered mini from Torrid, fishnets (of course!) and my black patent lace-up knee boots from Electrique Boutique.

Got to The Church and started finding people I knew. We’d posted a note to the Dallas Feminine Expressions Meetup group, but knowing that this is not everyone’s cup of tea, I didn’t expect many to show up. We had about eight people, which was better than I’d expected, and everyone loved the place. Plus, I got to meet some fun people, got compliments on my outfit, gave compliments, danced my ass off, and had a great time. A lot better than I’ve had in years.

Part of that was being in a place that I like. I “grew up” in the goth scene, and I still fondly remember going to The Blue Crystal/Whirling Dervish in New Orleans, and other places in Atlanta and Chicago. Dancing to music that feels right to me? Fabulous!

But also I’ve been seeing a doctor about some issues. I’ve been diagnosed with thyroid problems, and being treated for it. I’ve also started antidepressants, because I can’t live the way I have been for so long. Hopefully both will get me back to a place where I’ll feel better. Not totally, but more than I have been.

This coming weekend is A-Kon, a huge anime/manga/cosplay/etc. convention here in Dallas. I’ve volunteered/been volunteered to judge a maid’s contest again. Unlike All-Con I’m not going to try to cram everything into one day; I’ll hit the vendor’s up on Friday, do the judging and walkabout Saturday. Now to find some things to wear…

The Con Game Friday, Mar 25 2011 

Went to All-Con last weekend, which is an anime/sci-fi/fantasy/etc. convention in Addison. An anime con is sort of like going to SCC-lots of people with a common interest that the general public don’t really understand, dressing in outfits that range from beautiful to “What were you thinking?” with seminars and events. Though that’s probably not a great analogy…

I went for the Saturday session; I was invited to be a judge an Anime Maid Competition. No, I didn’t know what that entailed, either. Going to a con, you dress for comfort or you cosplay your heart out. I went for comfort-black pullover 3/4 sleeve top, black knee-length skirt with tulle trim, black knee-high combat-style boots (which I haven’t worn in ages, dammit!) over black and white striped socks. Oh, and a red leopard-print corset from Timeless Trends. Yes, at this place it’s casual and I just got it and wanted to wear it out, okay?

The contest was actually a lot of fun to watch and judge. There were two contests, actually. The first part was a look/portrayal contest, where you were supposed to look and act like an anime character. The second part involved hiding a table setting around the room and having to find it and put things back in place. That part was hilarious!

Afterward, I and a couple of friends went out to lunch and catch up. I then got to see a friend’s apartment that she’s using for her dressing/makeover business. I have to say it’s a great place, and I wish her the best. Back to the hotel to hit the vendor’s room; got a t-shirt and that’s all this time. I didn’t stay too late, wanted to get home and get dinner for everyone.

This was the first time I’d been out in the daylight since SCC. And I miss getting out and going to the shops or lunch or just doing stuff. I think I need to start getting back into practice. Also, my birthday was Monday; lots of good wishes and greetings, which were nice.

Filling in the gaps Tuesday, Mar 8 2011 

It’s been a while since I caught up, but I can’t say it’s been exciting. I have been out a few times, but it’s been dinner at The Bronx and go to S4 afterward. Sometimes there’s lots of girls, other times just a few. I wouldn’t go to S4 it I wasn’t meeting people, though. Although, I have met some new people there, even given them the address to the Dallas Feminine Expressions Meetup webpage. It’s probably the best way to find out who is going out and what events are happening. With Metroplex CD Group now dead, and GEAR* no longer doing monthly regularly-scheduled meetings, I don’t know how someone who was new to the area would find people. There is a Tri-Ess group in Ft. Worth, but since I’m not a hetrosexual crossdresser I’m not really their kind of girl…

Coming up? There’s an anime convention in a couple of weeks that I’ve been invited to go to; will say more about this later. I do want to get back out to the goth clubs again. There’s Panopticon on Fridays, and The Church on Thursdays and Sundays. I’ve got a few people interested in doing a Sunday night on a Monday holiday weekend; I’m not so picky.

*The Resource Center Dallas has not updated the GEAR page recently; it still lists the mixer.

Catching up Tuesday, Jan 11 2011 

I went out twice in December, and both started as trans group related things. Early in the month I met a few people at Borders on McKinney for coffee before dinner; six of us showed up on a cold night. I wore a black Z. Cavaricci jacket over a pink tank top, Torrid black lace covered skirt, pink tights under crochet-finished tights and boots. We walked over to Hook, Line and Sinker for dinner. It’s a very casual fish shack-fried and grilled fish, shrimp, etc. I had the fried shrimp (fresh and tasty), hush puppies (not so great) and fries (good). Talking to people over dinner, being social, is always a good thing. 

Afterward, went to Station 4 to meet up with people. S4 is kind of the gathering place for tgirls in town. It’s a gay bar that’s transgender friendly with a big dance floor, chill out room upstairs and drag shows in the Rose Room. I did run into some people I have not seen in a while, and that’s always good. One funny thing was I went to the ladies room and ended up talking to women for at least twenty minutes about outfits and makeup and shoes. Just like normal girls do :)
The other outing was for the GEAR Christmas Party. Grey turtleneck sweater from Ashley Stewart, black skirt from Torrid, patterned tights over colored ones (I like the way it looks, and get lots of compliments), and boots. The party was nice, caught up with a couple of people I have not seen in a while. Then out to S4 which was actually a bit boring-just couldn’t get into things that night I suppose. 
Packed things away for my mom’s visit over the holidays. She doesn’t know about Zelda, and at her age I don’t see a reason why she needs to. Things went very well; everyone was happy, people were in a great mood and got some nice presents. I have to drive mom back and forth, which is not fun but she hates flying and I don’t want her driving herself. 
Moved the girl stuff back last week, missed going out last Friday but went Saturday to S4. Went a bit gothy/wild with a black corset from Marvelous Mayhem, over a sheer top with a short petticoat I got off eBay years ago. Pink fishnet tights, black patent boots from Electrique Boutique, and the Z. Cavaricci jacket. A fun outfit, but didn’t get many comments which I thought was surprising. Guess I need to try harder :P
This has been a very cold week so far-at least there is no snow. I don’t mind the cold but not when it snows!

What’s been going on Sunday, Nov 21 2010 

Not as much as I’d hoped, I’m afraid. Busy with life, but not really getting out lately. I went to the GEAR mixer a couple of weeks ago; it’s their monthly meeting and I had not been there in a while. It’s at The Bronx in the gayborhood, which is always a nice place to go to. Unfortunately the turnout was a bit light-about ten people, and there really wasn’t a meeting as such. I did get to chat with some people I didn’t know, and afterward was introduced to Red Mango yogurt. It’s like Pinkberry but I think it tastes better. A very short evening…

The Dallas Fetish Ball at The Church was a week ago. And as always, it’s a mixed bag. I did find out that if you show up early-like when the doors open-you have a few hours before the place gets so crowded you can’t see anything or move around. Between 10:30 PM-12:30 AM it’s so packed you just kind of flow with the traffic inside. You’ll be able to talk to people, see the outfits and enjoy things. I hate the fact that the “dress code” is very loosely interpreted. They don’t bother to enforce it, so the crowd ends up with a mix of people who actually make an effort and the jeans/trainers/polo shirt crowd who look out of place. And to me it affects the whole mood.

I did meet some new people, which was great. But a friend had a bad experience at a nearby hotel. She’d parked in the garage and came back late Friday night-and was harassed by some homophobes. Fortunately she wasn’t alone, but it was her first experience with being in real physical danger. I can totally understand how she felt, but I also think that you have to remember that when you are dressed en femme you need to think like a woman and take the same kinds of precautions.

Interlude Sunday, Sep 26 2010 

Another brief interlude between SCC recollections. I had a busy weekend with Beyond Vanilla, an event held by NLA-Dallas. Well, not as busy as I’d thought it would be; did not do much Friday, the rain curtailed plans Saturday though in the end it went well, and I skipped Sunday totally…

A few big things coming up this week. GEAR has their monthly mixer at The Bronx this Thursday, 6-9:00 PM. I’ve been a few times before; it’s a reasonably together group though it’s more focused on TS issues than CD/TG to me. Then Friday is a special birthday, celebrated well.

Interlude Sunday, Sep 19 2010 

A brief interlude between memories from SCC:

I was going to try to go out Friday night to Panoptikon, but things conspired to make that a no-go. It’s one of the two Gothic club night organizers in Dallas (The Church on Thursday and Sunday is the other) and I have not been out there in ages-at least since they moved back to Club One/Excuses in Deep Ellum. 

I tried posting something to the list I used to use, but it seems like it’s gone cold. The moderator of the Dallas Feminine Expressions Meetup-who also moderates the old list-basically told me to use the Meetup instead. I have mixed feelings about Meetup. It’s adequate for large events or when you want to invite a lot of people out; it’s not so good when you have a last minute dinner/clubbing thing. I got a few responses from Meetup-all RSVPing they can’t come. The only person who did show up? Someone who read my post about it on the Feminine Expressions announce list…

I of course ran late getting to the place I’d chosen for dinner-The Bronx Cafe on Cedar Springs. I hadn’t been there in a while; it used to be the default choice for Girl’s Nights Out until Hung Dinger became the popular spot (I think that the waitstaff does drag may have something to do with it). I wore my black Z. Cavaricci dress (with an asymmetrical zipper on the front that gives it a kind of biker jacket look), black knee-hi socks with a pink seam on the back (because I couldn’t find stockings or tights that weren’t laddered!), my new black patent heels (Nordstrom Rack, love you!) and managed not to look like a wreck while rushing about! 

Robin was a wonderful dinner companion; I’d never had a chance to chat with her before. Since it was Cruisin’ the Crossroads (each of the Caven bars has free cover and $2 well drinks for a half hour) we went by Sue Ellen’s and then Station 4. There was a huge crowd out-this is Pride weekend in Dallas. We both chatted with a lot of people, saw some fabulous outfits, and had a wonderful time. After a letdown post-Southern Comfort, it was nice to get out for a while. 

Back to your regularly scheduled reporting soon.

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