Saturday night with the girls Tuesday, Feb 9 2010 

Last Saturday I went out to S4 to catch up with some of the local girls. I had not been out in a while, and really needed a break. A very late start due to guests at home and I was on Cedar Springs by midnight. A new outfit-gray turtleneck sweater and black leather skirt from Ashley Stewart, purple tights from Lane Bryant and my favorite boots. Fortunately, quite a few girls were still out and I got to catch up with people. Met someone who I’d only talked to on; she was really fabulous. We stayed until nearly closing, then to Hung Dinger for an early breakfast. I think I got to bed around 6AM, but it was well worth the loss of sleep.

Just a girl out on the town Friday, Apr 10 2009 

After weeks of trying to arrange with a friend to go out shopping en femme, I thought I’d give it a shot last Wednesday. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen going out by myself. Besides humiliation, embarrassment, having an accident…

Oh, nevermind.

Getting ready took longer than I wanted, of course. I managed to do a more conservative daytime makeup look, picked out a nice pink/black mod print blouse (Lane Bryant Outlet) with black trousers (Torrid) and pumps. My first stop was Wigit Boutique in Burleson. I’d been to in drab before. The time I went, one of the ladies said I should have come dressed up-so I did! We went through ten wigs and found one that’s just perfect. Shorter than my usual length, but the same colour (Burgundy Rosa in Noriko). It wasn’t in stock, but they ordered it and will adjust it so it will fit better. A very nice way to start out…

Next, a trip to Valley View Center in north Dallas. It’s a mid-scale mall, not too busy that day. I found a nice pair of jeans at Ashley Stewart; the manager was helpful, even if she slipped a pronoun once. She looked so embarrassed that I took it as an accident, not an insult. A trip through a few other stores, nothing special.

I was going to a resale shop on Northwest Highway, but I totally missed the exit, so I kept going to Town East Mall in Mesquite. I’d never been there as a girl, and it’s much busier than the first mall. A stop at Torrid, found a new t-shirt and tights, and sunglasses at a kiosk (I have a weakness for cheap knock-offs because I lose them all the time).

And then I went back home, cursing silently rush hour traffic, changing back to “boy stuff” and made dinner and reflected…

The good? New hair on the way, clothes, felt totally comfortable, no bad things happened.

The bad? One woman who said something like “Are you a fairy?” to me as I went down the escalator. If she hadn’t had kids with her I would have gotten snarky, but I am not going to put someone’s parent down in front of them. Even if they deserve it…

The ugly? Spent too much :P

I haven’t gone out shopping since Southern Comfort in September. I haven’t been out shopping in Dallas in over a year. I think I need to do this more often…

Two events, different results Sunday, Nov 16 2008 

Last Saturday, I went to the Dallas Bound and Determined party at The Sanctuary. I didn’t have high hopes for this, mostly because a) The Sanctuary is not one of my favorite places and b) the person organizing it has never done anything like this before.

But you know what? I was wrong. Jennifer and her volunteers made it work. The crowd was a good mix of leather, bdsm and fetish types. Things went off pretty much as planned. And there were some interesting side things going on. Okay, I’ll personally admit that being able to try a vac bed for the first time might have put me into a better mood…But I can’t say that I saw anyone at the end of the night who was disappointed. Plus, it raised a lot of money for Bryan’s House, which cares for children affected by HIV/AIDS in Dallas.

A week later, it’s the Dallas Fetish Ball, held at The Church. This was my third time going, and I almost passed because it’s not a lot of fun to attend these events if you aren’t going with a group. But my friend Barbie from Kansas was going, and we’ve never met in person before. So…

Barbie’s a fun person to be around, and she looks great in a latex catsuit. She’s also someone very straightforward, which is unfortunately a rarity in the fetish community.

The Church is too small for the event; you can’t walk around or talk to people. The stage is hard to see unless you’re upstairs on the balcony. They’d moved the “play space” outside to the porch, which meant the place you could go if it was too noisy was unavailable unless you wanted to climb up to the rooftop-which was freezing. And the “energy” was…not there. Sure there’s a lot of people dressing up, but you kind of felt like that’s what it was-dress up. The people who I knew were seriously into the lifestyle who were there sort of stood out. Am I being jaded? Maybe? We left about 12:30-and people were still waiting to get in.

I know this is a big event in Dallas-between this and the Black and Blue Ball (done by the same people) there’s no other open fetish events. It’s a professional event, with lots of performers (though they seem to be the same ones every year). So they should know what they are doing. And considering the state of fetish/bdsm in Dallas, I shouldn’t be critical. But do you support something because it’s there, or do it because it’s worth your time?

So, I had more fun at the little, amateur-produced event than the big, professional one.

Sometimes, it’s important to support each other Saturday, Jul 19 2008 

From the July 18, 2008 Dallas Voice:

Gay bar bans drag queens on ‘Trashy Tuesday’

Fueled by cheap drink prices and nearly naked, toned men dancing for tips, Tuesday night bar-hopping on Fitzhugh Avenue is becoming a staple in the Dallas LGBT community. So much so that locals have even given the event a nickname — “Trashy Tuesday.”

But Crews Inn co-owner David Moore says he plans to remove the “T” — for transgender, that is — from the clientele at his Fitzhugh Avenue bar on Tuesday nights.

Moore has banned drag queens-and any transperson whose appearance does not match their photo ID-from Crews Inn. The reason?

“Drag queens act like they are divas and think they can’t do no wrong,” Moore said. “They have stolen money straight off the bar, hassled costumers for drinks and locked themselves in the bathroom with a bunch of guys. And with Tuesday being our busiest night, there is just no way for me to keep the drag queens under control then. I don’t want drag queens in here that are going to misbehave.”

So his solution?

That’s why starting Tuesday, July 15 Moore and his employees began asking transgender women and drag queens to leave. Local drag performers Ivana Tramp and Celeste Williams — who now goes by Emelisa Nunez — said they and a friend were told to go when a bartender, and former drag queen himself, came over and said, “I’m sorry, but the owner is in one of his moods, and he doesn’t want this.”

“I was like, ‘What do you mean? What are you saying?’” Tramp said. “And he goes, ‘David says he doesn’t want this’ — making a hand gesture at us — ‘in this bar, trannies, drag queens or girls.”

Moore “doesn’t want this” in his bar. Trannies, drag queens, or girls. And his logic defending his position?

“How do I separate one drag queen that is being bad from others?” Moore said. “We don’t have the time on Tuesday nights with all the people in here to sit there and tell them apart from one another. If a drag queen misbehaves one week and then the next comes back in a different outfit I wouldn’t be able to recognize them. That’s why I don’t want any of them in here on Tuesdays.”


Now, go a block down the street to Zippers, and ask them if they’ve had problems with drag queens:

“I have not noticed any difference in the behavior of drag queens from our other customers,” he said. “They behave themselves very well and do not cause problems. They will always be welcomed at Zippers.”

Miller says he’s not biased against drag queens:

“If I did (have a bias), several of my employees would not be working here because they are drag queens, too,” he said.

But if they showed up at the door in drag, you’d refuse to let them in, right?

According to the Dallas Tavern Guild’s spokesperson, what Moore is doing is acceptable:

Michael Doughman, executive director of the Dallas Tavern Guild, said as long as Moore is keeping them out because of behavior issues, “he has every right to run his business the way he wants to.” Crew’s Inn is a member of the Tavern Guild, a local association of gay bars.

“I’ve never know David to be prejudiced toward any group of people, so I can’t imagine that it is just because they are guys in drag,” Doughman said.

Even though Moore says he is banning all transpeople-not specific persons.

Oh, and if you’re a transsexual, crossdresser, transgendered, or genderqueer and think this is not your problem-it is. Because if your ID doesn’t match your presentation, you can’t go into Crews Inn. And if Moore can justify not allowing people in for their appearance, then what stops another bar owner from doing the same? And to say “all drag queens are bad,” how far is it to say “all transpeople are bad?”

Maybe I just think this is more important than it is…

Monica Sunday, Feb 17 2008 

Although I’ve known about Monica Greene, owner of Monica’s aca y alla in Dallas being a transperson, I’ve never really heard her story. I found a link to an article in the Dallas Observer from 2003, ten years after her surgery.

It’s a very good piece, but it also points out how accepted Monica is. She was a successful restaurant owner who had serious doubts about staying in Dallas and transitioning, yet managed to do so and making her business successful. She did not hide her transsexuality; at times she used it in her advertising to make a point about change.

It also says something about Dallas. I’d never have thought when I moved here that you could be openly trans and successful. But Dallas does seem to have its surprises…

Today, Monica’s is still a very successful restaurant, and she even placed second in 2005’s city council race. And still happy with her choices.

Big D? Wednesday, Dec 12 2007 

Someone asked on one of the LiveJournal communities I am a part of about moving to Dallas, and if anyone had any advice. Of course, I had to reply…

I moved to Dallas in August of ’06 from the New Orleans area. I didn’t know anyone here, knew very little about the city or the “trans community.” I was moving because my spouse did know people here, could no longer live in New Orleans, and didn’t like my suggestion about moving to Atlanta (which I think is far more transfriendly, but I digress).

I’ll just hit the high and low points:

Dallas is a pretty “accepting” city. It’s got a very large and public GLBT community, mostly centered around the Cedar Springs/Oak Lawn area. The Sheriff is a lesbian Latina, openly gay men have run for and won public offices in the DFW area. And in the last election, an openly gay city councilman nearly won the mayor’s race. Recently, the Dallas Voice did an article on a post-transition Dallas Police officer who was not the first person to do so in the department.

Dallas has one of the largest populations of GLBT people per capita in the country. It also has the largest church with a predominantly GLBT congregation in the country, too. Go figure.

There are quite a few companies that have GLBT-affirmative policies regarding employment-including many Fortune 500 companies. If you are looking for a job in the financial, IT, healthcare or transportation fields, there are opportunities in the Dallas area.

The people here are actually very friendly and open. Neighbors tend to be helpful. There are some very nice neighborhoods in the city, and you can find someplace you’ll feel comfortable in.

Contrary to rumor, you can get more than barbecue and Mexican food in Dallas. Though there is some great barbecue and Mexican food here. There’s also incredible Latin, Asian, Indian, Mediterranean and African cuisines at reasonable prices.

And now, what sucks…

Traffic is hellish; the drivers morons. Really. My car insurance went up when I moved here. There are constant roadworks, accidents tie up major roads for hours, the junctions and intersections make no sense, and drivers simply refuse to allow you to merge or change lanes and insist on tailgating you everywhere. Expect any commute to take at least an hour, if you’re lucky.

There’s no income tax-but every other tax is bleeding. Wages are higher than most of the South, but so is the cost of living. Housing prices have yet to take much of a dive, too.

There is a definite class system in Dallas, based on where you live and how much you make. It helps if you live in the right part of town or the right suburb. Displays of wealth are common and expected. The first shopping mall was in Dallas; they never stopped building them. Think of any prestigious brand and they probably a boutique or store here.

The crime rate in Dallas is shocking, and it’s been bad for years. “Hate crimes” are rare, but robberies and assaults are not uncommon.

And while Dallas may be pretty accepting, just a few miles away you’re in redneck Texas. Plus, there are parts of Dallas I wouldn’t dream of going into at any time of the day…

You may have noticed I have not talked a lot about the transgender community in Dallas. Because there isin’t much of one. There are support groups, and some excellent therapists. But socially, simply making friends among the locals has been hard. The vast majority of transpeople are not out, or have managed to stealth themselves well enough they don’t feel a need to make contact with others. The friends I have here I found through mutual friends in other places or by being lucky.

However, I will say that the friends I have here have been wonderful people who are generous to a fault and I am happy to know.

When Nicole Meadows said this place will eat your soul, she’s not kidding. It’s a hard place to live if you don’t know people, and it’s an easy place to feel lost in. I know I have…

Overall, if you’re moving here for family or work, do it. If you are moving here for a social scene, there are better choices…

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