Catching up Sunday, Sep 30 2012 

So, what’s been going on? I’ve gone out a few times. I’m loving going out to the goth nights at Panoptikon and The Church again. Dressing up in my favorite things, and meeting people. I’ve been lucky enough to get in touch with someone who is from New Orleans who used to go to GGA when I was there and we’re trying to keep in touch. I’ve done one ‘nilla night in the Gayborhood. Dinner at Black Eye Pea, then to Sue Ellen’s and S4. The CD’s night out…

I did get to go to Southern Comfort this year, despite huge money worries. Fortunately I had some angels, and things happened. It was a smaller event than last year, and it felt like it. Some of the people I really look forward to seeing weren’t there, and I missed them. Made a few new friends, and got to spend time with people I really like spending time with, so it’s all good. And I got a cool trophy, too! Yes, I’ll post a shot of it later…

A lot of time spent dealing with family issues. An aging parent brings on new responsibilities and time issues. Spouse who works far too hard and has her own issues. My own issues, which seem to be getting no better. Life is complex, still.

Coming up? More goth nights, I hope. More time with friends. More family issues.

Rain Saturday, Mar 10 2012 

Pouring rain plus a late start have pretty much done my plans in. Desperately need time out, but do not want to go to a bar.

Going to The Church Monday, Jun 6 2011 

The Sunday of Memorial Day weekend I finally got out to The Church-first time since November. Because The Church is only on Thursday and Sunday nights, it’s hard to find people to go out with me. But since it was a Monday holiday…

It took me longer than normal to get ready-I just couldn’t find the right outfit. I got dressed, and within ten minutes I hated what I was wearing. So I had to get dressed all over again, and barely made it out of the house in time. I decided on something Gothy but basic-sheer black t-shirt that I got off eBay years ago, black cami underneath, my red and black leopard print corset from Timeless Trends, the black lace covered mini from Torrid, fishnets (of course!) and my black patent lace-up knee boots from Electrique Boutique.

Got to The Church and started finding people I knew. We’d posted a note to the Dallas Feminine Expressions Meetup group, but knowing that this is not everyone’s cup of tea, I didn’t expect many to show up. We had about eight people, which was better than I’d expected, and everyone loved the place. Plus, I got to meet some fun people, got compliments on my outfit, gave compliments, danced my ass off, and had a great time. A lot better than I’ve had in years.

Part of that was being in a place that I like. I “grew up” in the goth scene, and I still fondly remember going to The Blue Crystal/Whirling Dervish in New Orleans, and other places in Atlanta and Chicago. Dancing to music that feels right to me? Fabulous!

But also I’ve been seeing a doctor about some issues. I’ve been diagnosed with thyroid problems, and being treated for it. I’ve also started antidepressants, because I can’t live the way I have been for so long. Hopefully both will get me back to a place where I’ll feel better. Not totally, but more than I have been.

This coming weekend is A-Kon, a huge anime/manga/cosplay/etc. convention here in Dallas. I’ve volunteered/been volunteered to judge a maid’s contest again. Unlike All-Con I’m not going to try to cram everything into one day; I’ll hit the vendor’s up on Friday, do the judging and walkabout Saturday. Now to find some things to wear…

The Con Game Friday, Mar 25 2011 

Went to All-Con last weekend, which is an anime/sci-fi/fantasy/etc. convention in Addison. An anime con is sort of like going to SCC-lots of people with a common interest that the general public don’t really understand, dressing in outfits that range from beautiful to “What were you thinking?” with seminars and events. Though that’s probably not a great analogy…

I went for the Saturday session; I was invited to be a judge an Anime Maid Competition. No, I didn’t know what that entailed, either. Going to a con, you dress for comfort or you cosplay your heart out. I went for comfort-black pullover 3/4 sleeve top, black knee-length skirt with tulle trim, black knee-high combat-style boots (which I haven’t worn in ages, dammit!) over black and white striped socks. Oh, and a red leopard-print corset from Timeless Trends. Yes, at this place it’s casual and I just got it and wanted to wear it out, okay?

The contest was actually a lot of fun to watch and judge. There were two contests, actually. The first part was a look/portrayal contest, where you were supposed to look and act like an anime character. The second part involved hiding a table setting around the room and having to find it and put things back in place. That part was hilarious!

Afterward, I and a couple of friends went out to lunch and catch up. I then got to see a friend’s apartment that she’s using for her dressing/makeover business. I have to say it’s a great place, and I wish her the best. Back to the hotel to hit the vendor’s room; got a t-shirt and that’s all this time. I didn’t stay too late, wanted to get home and get dinner for everyone.

This was the first time I’d been out in the daylight since SCC. And I miss getting out and going to the shops or lunch or just doing stuff. I think I need to start getting back into practice. Also, my birthday was Monday; lots of good wishes and greetings, which were nice.

Filling in the gaps Tuesday, Mar 8 2011 

It’s been a while since I caught up, but I can’t say it’s been exciting. I have been out a few times, but it’s been dinner at The Bronx and go to S4 afterward. Sometimes there’s lots of girls, other times just a few. I wouldn’t go to S4 it I wasn’t meeting people, though. Although, I have met some new people there, even given them the address to the Dallas Feminine Expressions Meetup webpage. It’s probably the best way to find out who is going out and what events are happening. With Metroplex CD Group now dead, and GEAR* no longer doing monthly regularly-scheduled meetings, I don’t know how someone who was new to the area would find people. There is a Tri-Ess group in Ft. Worth, but since I’m not a hetrosexual crossdresser I’m not really their kind of girl…

Coming up? There’s an anime convention in a couple of weeks that I’ve been invited to go to; will say more about this later. I do want to get back out to the goth clubs again. There’s Panopticon on Fridays, and The Church on Thursdays and Sundays. I’ve got a few people interested in doing a Sunday night on a Monday holiday weekend; I’m not so picky.

*The Resource Center Dallas has not updated the GEAR page recently; it still lists the mixer.

Catching up Tuesday, Jan 11 2011 

I went out twice in December, and both started as trans group related things. Early in the month I met a few people at Borders on McKinney for coffee before dinner; six of us showed up on a cold night. I wore a black Z. Cavaricci jacket over a pink tank top, Torrid black lace covered skirt, pink tights under crochet-finished tights and boots. We walked over to Hook, Line and Sinker for dinner. It’s a very casual fish shack-fried and grilled fish, shrimp, etc. I had the fried shrimp (fresh and tasty), hush puppies (not so great) and fries (good). Talking to people over dinner, being social, is always a good thing. 

Afterward, went to Station 4 to meet up with people. S4 is kind of the gathering place for tgirls in town. It’s a gay bar that’s transgender friendly with a big dance floor, chill out room upstairs and drag shows in the Rose Room. I did run into some people I have not seen in a while, and that’s always good. One funny thing was I went to the ladies room and ended up talking to women for at least twenty minutes about outfits and makeup and shoes. Just like normal girls do :)
The other outing was for the GEAR Christmas Party. Grey turtleneck sweater from Ashley Stewart, black skirt from Torrid, patterned tights over colored ones (I like the way it looks, and get lots of compliments), and boots. The party was nice, caught up with a couple of people I have not seen in a while. Then out to S4 which was actually a bit boring-just couldn’t get into things that night I suppose. 
Packed things away for my mom’s visit over the holidays. She doesn’t know about Zelda, and at her age I don’t see a reason why she needs to. Things went very well; everyone was happy, people were in a great mood and got some nice presents. I have to drive mom back and forth, which is not fun but she hates flying and I don’t want her driving herself. 
Moved the girl stuff back last week, missed going out last Friday but went Saturday to S4. Went a bit gothy/wild with a black corset from Marvelous Mayhem, over a sheer top with a short petticoat I got off eBay years ago. Pink fishnet tights, black patent boots from Electrique Boutique, and the Z. Cavaricci jacket. A fun outfit, but didn’t get many comments which I thought was surprising. Guess I need to try harder :P
This has been a very cold week so far-at least there is no snow. I don’t mind the cold but not when it snows!

Interlude Sunday, Sep 19 2010 

A brief interlude between memories from SCC:

I was going to try to go out Friday night to Panoptikon, but things conspired to make that a no-go. It’s one of the two Gothic club night organizers in Dallas (The Church on Thursday and Sunday is the other) and I have not been out there in ages-at least since they moved back to Club One/Excuses in Deep Ellum. 

I tried posting something to the list I used to use, but it seems like it’s gone cold. The moderator of the Dallas Feminine Expressions Meetup-who also moderates the old list-basically told me to use the Meetup instead. I have mixed feelings about Meetup. It’s adequate for large events or when you want to invite a lot of people out; it’s not so good when you have a last minute dinner/clubbing thing. I got a few responses from Meetup-all RSVPing they can’t come. The only person who did show up? Someone who read my post about it on the Feminine Expressions announce list…

I of course ran late getting to the place I’d chosen for dinner-The Bronx Cafe on Cedar Springs. I hadn’t been there in a while; it used to be the default choice for Girl’s Nights Out until Hung Dinger became the popular spot (I think that the waitstaff does drag may have something to do with it). I wore my black Z. Cavaricci dress (with an asymmetrical zipper on the front that gives it a kind of biker jacket look), black knee-hi socks with a pink seam on the back (because I couldn’t find stockings or tights that weren’t laddered!), my new black patent heels (Nordstrom Rack, love you!) and managed not to look like a wreck while rushing about! 

Robin was a wonderful dinner companion; I’d never had a chance to chat with her before. Since it was Cruisin’ the Crossroads (each of the Caven bars has free cover and $2 well drinks for a half hour) we went by Sue Ellen’s and then Station 4. There was a huge crowd out-this is Pride weekend in Dallas. We both chatted with a lot of people, saw some fabulous outfits, and had a wonderful time. After a letdown post-Southern Comfort, it was nice to get out for a while. 

Back to your regularly scheduled reporting soon.

Aware of the unawareness, and the one hundreth post Monday, Aug 23 2010 

This is my one hundredth post to this blog. There’s no real significance to the subject and this fact; I just saw that I had posted ninety-nine posts already, and I wanted to take some note of this. I’m kind of surprised. I keep thinking I have not posted much to here, yet I have. One hundred posts may not be a lot compared to some bloggers, but when you constantly suffer from writer’s block it’s one hundred times I managed to get over it.


Last Saturday the spouse and I went out for breakfast. Or rather, we went to meet a group of people for breakfast, something organized by friends who wanted like-minded (aka, leather/BDSM/etc. types) to meet up. The restaurant would fit in back in New Orleans-an older building that’s seen better days, mismatched decor, but excellent food.

I was accosted by someone I know who asked I was going to a fundraiser they were working on in October. I had totally forgotten about it, and I still haven’t decided what I’m doing yet. There was a request that Zelda show up, and some not-too-subtle flattery.

Later, I was going through some photos on my phone (what, you don’t keep pictures of yourself in an unlisted directory on your phone?) and the person next to me asked who the woman was. I’ve known him for a while, but he didn’t know I was a CD. Sometimes, I just assume people know, and it kind of took me by surprise. Of course I showed off a bit-because that’s what we do, isn’t it? No matter who you are, positive attention is a good thing…

Breakfast? Good. The company was better, and afterward indulging someone’s office supply fetish was fun.

Fifteen days from now, I’ll be on my way to Atlanta for the Southern Comfort Conference. This will be my eleventh time, and it’s always an experience. Sometimes better than others. My first SCC, I got so lost finding the hotel I saw most of Atlanta. I went there only a week after 9/11; all of us who showed up felt like we were just happy to be someplace close to normal. A month after Katrina with things still undone in New Orleans I went to Atlanta and the shock of being in a normal place was hard. So was Rita hitting home while I was there. I’ve dealt with family issues, my mom’s cat dying, and other things long-distance while there.

I go to SCC because I get to see people I don’t get to see the rest of the year. I go because I get to, for a few days, be closer to what I am. I love Atlanta almost as much as I love New Orleans.

Fifteen days…

Saturday night with the girls Tuesday, Feb 9 2010 

Last Saturday I went out to S4 to catch up with some of the local girls. I had not been out in a while, and really needed a break. A very late start due to guests at home and I was on Cedar Springs by midnight. A new outfit-gray turtleneck sweater and black leather skirt from Ashley Stewart, purple tights from Lane Bryant and my favorite boots. Fortunately, quite a few girls were still out and I got to catch up with people. Met someone who I’d only talked to on; she was really fabulous. We stayed until nearly closing, then to Hung Dinger for an early breakfast. I think I got to bed around 6AM, but it was well worth the loss of sleep.

The days and nights of Zelda in New Orleans, part 3 Thursday, Jan 28 2010 

I’d made arrangements to meet up with Vanessa, a girl who I had met online. She was working that evening, so we’d have to meet up late. Well, New Orleans is a town where things do not start early, anyway. A mix of outfits for tonight; the jeans and boots from Thursday night with a black and purple print t-shirt from Kat Von D, the black PVC bomber and fingerless driving gloves. Oh, and the new hat.

I was out of the room about nineish, and had not heard from Vanessa yet. Took forever to find parking-had to resort to a hotel garage and their overpriced rates. I really had no plans at the moment, so I found something to eat and then dropped into some of the bars I used to go by. Most haven’t changed-for good or bad. Eventually I decided I was ready to go back, until I got a message from Vanessa. We decided to meet up at John Pauls on Elysian Fields. It’s a location that has been a dozen other bars, but I had not been there since it changed owners. I arrived a bit early, got a soda and chatted with some of the locals. It’s sort of a neighborhood bar, except the clientele is gay and they do drag shows there.

Vanessa arrived, and we really got along incredibly well. She’s the kind of person I wish I had known when I was living in New Orleans-fun, smart, confident. I’d have been a lot happier! We talked and had drinks until I had to leave about 3AM (something else I miss-no closing times), went back to the hotel and got some sleep before I had to drive back to Dallas that day…

So, what have we learned Zelda?

Well, what we’ve learned is that New Orleans is one of the best places a tgirl can visit. It’s a city where people really are accepting. The French Quarter is perfect for a day of shopping, eating, meeting people, and relaxing. You can walk it easily-just remember to wear comfortable shoes. In Spring and Fall, the weather’s moderate enough to be comfortable. Winter’s are usually mild. Summer, you may want to avoid unless you enjoy high humidity and heat even in the evenings. In the off-season hotels are not too bad, and if you find one with cheap parking all the better. The streetcars will take you down St. Charles and the Garden District with Magazine Street’s shops and dining nearby. A car will get you to many parts of the city, though the roads are rough and parking is sometimes a problem.

Some of the best little shops are in New Orleans. The food’s great, and you’ll find that there is more than “Cajun” cooking-almost every cuisine is represented, and the local Creole cooking is superb. Live music is a big part of the city, and you’ll find a wide variety of clubs. There is a large, active LGBT community (though the T is not so much) that enriches the city. And the people? I had two random encounters with people who I spent at least ten minutes talking to. There’s an openness there, a shared love of the city and knowing that things are always changing.

The city itself has an energy to it that I’ve never felt anywhere else. It’s a living place that you’ll either love or hate but never feel indifferent to.

It’s also got the most underwhelming transgender community I know of. I came of age in New Orleans as a transgendered person, and I am thankful that I had the people I did who helped me come out and who cared about me. Even when I was not exactly the shy retiring type. A few days ago, I got an email that Gulf Gender Alliance-my “home group”-is closing down due to a lack of members and activity. This group was suffering before Katrina; after it, it was only a matter of time.

There are quite a few Tgirls in New Orleans. Not that you’d know it most of the time. There are a number of drag queens and working girls out there, but crossdressers are rare. Most CD’s seem to be either closeted or won’t go out locally. The most-cited reason is a fear of being found out. New Orleans is in some ways a small town, where neighbors know each other and what’s going on around them. There’s a bit of conservatism in the business community. So yes, I suppose there is a real fear of being “outed.”

So I’d go to group meetings (when we were still meeting in Kenner at a hotel) where girls would show up, dress for the meeting, then change to go home. They couldn’t even consider going out! And that attitude seems to still be there. I asked a few people I knew if they’d want to go out and they’d always say no. Which is how I developed a certain fearlessness-I wanted to go out, I did, and I took the BS when it happened. Made me a better person, but still I’d have loved to have had someone to go out with…

New Orleans is such a great place, and if you’re living there or nearby, you are missing out on so much! There’s so much to do, so many things to see. I know people who live in cities that have fewer opportunities but get out. What’s your excuse?

I do know that people expect others to organize things for them. Guess what? YOU need to be the person! Get off your pretty little butt and seek out people. Or just go out one day and have coffee at Community Coffee House on Royal in a cute little outfit and be happy. It doesn’t take much, just a desire to be real.

Okay, I’m off my soapbox now. I just need to get back again…

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