If the RAF can accept my gender transition, why cant the media? | Society | The Observer Thursday, Jun 6 2013 

If the RAF can accept my gender transition, why cant the media? | Society | The Observer.

A great story about Ayla Holdom, a search and rescue pilot in the RAF who is transitioning with the support of her friends, family and employer. Even so, she’s had to face press reports that are misleading and even false. Her courage is incredible.

Two women on crossdressing Monday, Feb 27 2012 

A video from a woman who considers herself a feminist on crossdressing, and a response from another YouTuber that is also very positive. Both are worth watching.

Requiem for a friend, and an announcement. Thursday, Jun 16 2011 

When I took my first steps into discovering who I was, I looked for a local TG support group. Through AOL’s Transgender Community Forum (in ’97, this was the best resource I had) I discovered Gulf Gender Alliance in New Orleans. Sending their contact a message, she told me I’d need to be screened before I went to a meeting, and she knew someone in Lafayette who she could send me to. And so, one afternoon, I went to a warehouse off Ambassador Caffery to meet the woman who would be the first person I had ever come out to face to face.

Ann ran a business selling shoes to women with large feet, and was approached by crossdressers and transsexuals looking for shoes that would fit. She became part of the community. When I met her, she talked to me with kindness and caring, and I felt comfortable. She introduced me to Crystal Little and Cissy Conley, who would become so important to my growth over the years. I met other CD’s through her. And I spent hours talking to her, becoming friends. When I needed a place to store my things, she offered to let me use her warehouse.

Later, when I moved to New Orleans, I went to my first Southern Comfort in Atlanta. And the second person I saw when I walked into the hotel was Ann. From then on, we’d see each other every year at Southern Comfort, catching up. We remained friends, and I looked forward to seeing her each year.

I had known she had been ill last year, but did not know the extent. On June 5, Ann passed away. I found out yesterday, and I am still numb.

If not for Ann, I don’t know how my life would have changed. She was a friend when I needed one, gave me advice when it was useful, told me the truth when I needed that, and I can never thank her enough for what she did. I will truly miss her.


I will not be at Southern Comfort this year. The short reason is that I can’t afford it right now. Also, I just don’t feel the same need to go that I have in the past. The last couple of years I’ve felt like this, but I managed to turn it around. Maybe a year away will give me the desire again?

I will miss my friends, and having a week being Zelda full-time. Please raise a glass for me, and have a ball. 

What’s happened between then and now Saturday, Jan 31 2009 

I just got so tired keeping up with things, and it’s been a rough few months.

Let’s start from where we left off-Andrea and Brooke’s wedding in DC. Actually, the suburbs, where driving is a test of wills and sanity. The wedding itself was wonderful; they made the most beautiful brides, and the happiest. Their families were there, and I got to talk to some of them. The venue was so nice, and the reception went off perfectly. I was so happy that they’d invited me, and that they felt I had to be there. That was one of the most touching things I’ve ever experenced.

After that, and the two fetish balls I attended and already blogged about, not much happened in the Zeldaverse. My mom and stepson were coming up for the holidays, and there would be zero time for me. I knew this was going to be a less-extravagant holiday. Financially, we are okay but we did not want to overextend ourselves. I’ve been out of work for over a year, and while we manage it’s not always easy.

I don’t feel comfortable being too specific about what happened, but my mom was very unhappy being here this year, and she’s taken to drinking far more than she should. It felt like we were making her miserable, and I know there’s more to things than she said. But she wouldn’t talk about it, and I can’t make her. No, I don’t think it’s about my being TG; she isin’t aware of it from what I can tell. I do know that this was one of the most miserable holidays I’ve celebrated in years, and it was bad enough that the spouse is ready to not do anything this year…

If anything good has happened, it’s been that I got to reconnect with a friend who’d disappeared for about eight months. Nikkie has had her own issues with her gender identity. Then she decided that she needed to get over it, and do what makes her happy. We had lunch at Northpark Center, caught up on things, and decided we needed to get out after the holidays.

So, after the New Year Nikkie, Christina, and I got together at The Church on a Thursday night. This is one of the few local goth/industrial nights in Dallas, and the one where the people who show up are less irritating. I wore my black mesh “Rock and Roll” top from Torrid over a black wife beater, black shorts from Dot’s (My friend Solitaire introduced me to the joys of shopping where BBW black women shop-cheap clothing that fits and looks good), pink tights under black fishnets and black patent lace-up go-go boots from Electrique Boutique. Which is the outfit in the photo at the top of this post. It was great getting out with Nikkie, and meeting Christina for the first time. And dancing! I admit it, I’m stuck in an eighties new wave/punk/goth mode. Live with it, bitches.

Saturday night, I broke down and attended the local gender support group’s monthly meeting. Metroplex Crossdressers Club is typical of my experience with most of these groups-not much really happens. I wouldn’t have gone except that I’d told Nicole I would chaperone her to her first meeting, and we could go out afterward. I picked out a new pair of skinny jeans from Ashley Stewart to wear, with my new boots tucked in. A purple turtleneck top and my patent bomber jacket from Torrid and off I went. The meeting was, well, disappointing. Except for seeing this person who was at her first meeting, a bit shy, but we both had the same bangle bracelets on (thank you, Lane Bryant).

Not only was this Melanie’s first meeting, it was the first time she’d been in a group of T-girls. She’d been dressing for years and going out, but always by herself. And I knew how she felt-I’d often gone out alone in New Orleans, and it’s not always fun. After the meeting, a few girls were going to the bar at Nana in the Hilton Anatole. This is a very upscale hotel, and bar, but it’s also very T-friendly. And I have to say, a wonderful place to have a drink and socialize.

The following Friday night, Nikkie, Nicole, Christina and I went out to dinner at The Bronx. It’s an informal place, in the heart of Dallas’ gayborhood, and always a good place to dine. A wine color turtleneck top with the jeans and boots worked perfectly. Dinner and drinks with friends? Always fabulous! This is one of the things I have missed-just being out and feeling…normal. After dinner, an early night at Station 4 where we met up with Melanie. I think we’re going make an nice little social group…

Last Thursday, I went to my first GEAR mixer at the Bronx. They are another support/advocacy group, but far less internal drama than MCDC. I felt like things were more organized, and that they were more interested in actually doing things. Plus, the people there were more confident. I think I’m going back again…Oh, the outfit? A purple turtleneck sweater from Target, jean skirt from Torrid, the pink/fishnet tights, and boots with the patent jacket. It’s cold out there!

Of course I’m keeping in touch with my new girls and old friends. And it’s helping me feel like I’m more connected to this city, rather than still an outsider.

Emotionally, I’m still drained. I need a job, badly. And I’m at a point where I wonder if I ought to just give up and go back to school again. IT seems to be a dead end for me-not sure if it’s that I’m not qualified anymore or that my old job is cutting me down that badly. Lots of family stuff. And the black dog nips at my heels…

But I’ll be okay. Zelda always is.