Time Machine: Dark angel Wednesday, Jun 10 2009 

timemachine Zelda Rose 7:31 AM

This was posted after my first trip to Dallas, when we were getting ready to move. My spouse had decided she had to move from New Orleans after Katrina, and she’d found a job here. I really did not know Dallas, did not know anyone here. So I was on a trip to the city to scout things out…

From April 14, 2006:

The Church at the Lizzard 4-09-06-resized

A great time in Dallas last weekend. Met some of the local tgirls at MCDC Saturday night; they were welcoming and friendly to a stranger. Went to the gay clubs afterward, which were fun. Sunday night went to The Church which is a Goth club and danced my ass off. Oh, there was also shopping, house hunting, eating, and in general getting to know the city. A good thing.

And just for you, a new picture, taken at The Church Sunday night. I feel it’s one of my best :)

I became a member of MCDC, but I’ve pretty much given up on them. I found friends here, made my own social group, and have gotten more comfortable with myself. The Church is fun, except when they do a big event then is so crowded you can’t think. While I found a house I loved on this trip, we couldn’t move on it fast enough. The house we actually purchased I did not see until I moved to Dallas.

And that picture is still one of my favorites.

 

Time Machine: Read this before you IM me Sunday, May 31 2009 

timemachine Zelda Rose 12:10 AM

This was one of those posts created out of frustration. I was going through a period when I was being bombarded by stupid, horny men who thought I was just as stupid and horny as they were. So, I got my poison pen out and got creative…From January 24, 2006.

Do not send me a picture of your penis. I know what a penis looks like, and mine’s nicer.

Yes, that means I am an-ohmygawd-crossdresser/transvestite/transgendered/tranny/etc. If this shocks you, then you probably don’t want to talk to me.

Do not ask “asl” because that means you haven’t looked, have you? But for the slow learners out there: fortysomething/yes, but not with you/in front of my computer

Yes, I am beautiful. Fabulous, even. Thank you for saying so.

Yes, I am a Dominant. No, you may not call me “Mistress.”

I have lots of pictures of myself-but you’re not going to see them.

I am dressed; I rarely use the computer when I am nude.

No, I will not get dressed up so you can see me on webcam.

Do not “ding” me. It just annoys me.

On average, you have fifteen seconds to make an impression on me. Or less.

I know how to block people. I do it a lot.

Get the point?

Oh, and if you are truly stupid, I’ll post copies of your messages on my blog. Right here. Just because I can.

That last bit got me into trouble with Yahoo’s Thought Police. I was censured for reposting my favorite stupid IM’s, which were removed by Yahoo, and the beginning of the end of my posting to my 360 blog. This was also the most-responded to entry.

 

Time Machine: Just a little survey Sunday, May 31 2009 

timemachine Zelda Rose 12:03 AM

A little survey I took, from November 2, 2005.

CROSS-DRESSERS SURVEY
About You
Do you use hormones? No
Have you (or do you plan to) get surgery? I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know if I will
What is your female name? Zelda Rose
Are you straight, gay or bi? I consider myself a lesbian with bi tendencies
Do you consider yourself a male or female? Yes
Do you cross-dress for a sexual thrill? Not anymore
Do you read gay or straight porn? I don’t really read porn
Do you have other fetishes? This isin’t a fetish, and my fetishes are numerous
Are you a closet CD or have you come out? Out, but not to everyone
Could you pass for a woman? What do you think?
Favorites
Favorite artcle of women’s clothing Corsets
Favorite purse Craig Morrison spikey latex heart-shaped backpack
Faveorite pair of women’s shoes Black leather knee-high dress boots
Favorite kind of lingerie Lacy
Favorite brand of make-up MAC!
Favorite brand of hose Levante
Forget boxers and briefs! Panties or thongs? Panties
Thigh highs, knee highs or pantyhose? Thigh-high stockings
Skirts or dresses? Skirts
Bra or bustier? Bra
Tanga or boy shorts? Tanga
If you cross-dress at the beach, bikini or 1-piece? Victorian bathing costume
Night out with girl friends or CD friends? Either

I made a couple of small changes, but for the most it’s the same answers I gave back then. Wonder what that means…

 

Time Machine: Smoke Saturday, May 30 2009 

fetish and SCC and timemachine Zelda Rose 11:36 PM

Yahoo has decided to shut down their 360 pages. Not that this is a surprise-they have not done a thing with it in ages. So I am going to repost some of my entries here, to preserve them.

This was a post from October 25, 2005.

Someone else posted an entry to their blog about smoking…

I’m not a smoker. I don’t feel any cravings for it, and it never bothers me. Just the smell, which I hate.

So, why is it that when I’m doing the girl thang that I like to smoke? I know it’s an affectation, but why that one?

I’m particular about what I’ll smoke. It’s got to be a long, thin cigarette, like More 120’s or Sampoerna Xtra cloves. They’re both dark, and they look very dramatic. I like the smell of cloves, too. I don’t inhale deeply, just enough to keep them going. I try to look aloof when I smoke, like I am not really thinking about it…

When I’m going out in the French Quarter, I always have to park a few blocks from where I am going. I’ll light a cigarette and smoke while I’m walking; it seems to get me into the mood. If I’m in a nightclub I’ll smoke. It’s a natural thing to do for me.

I don’t feel a compulsion to smoke after a meal, or other things. I’ll do it driving sometimes, even though I forbid people from smoking in my car. But Zelda can, of course…

I wanted a cigarette holder for a long time, but never got one. That’s too much of an affectation even for me.

At SCC, I brought one pack of Sampoerna’s with me. I didn’t even finish it by the end of the week. Of course, you can’t smoke in the bars in Atlanta anymore, either…

And I can dress and not smoke, too. So the only reason I do it is for effect. Now if I could only develop an eastern European accent…

I have not seen a pack of More 120’s in years. Sampoernas are not imported into the US anymore; I switched to Djarm Blacks. After my spouse’s health issues in ’07 I stopped smoking for the most. My last time was at SCC ’08, and I have not since. But I think I’ll grab a pack of Blacks for SCC ’09, just in case…

 

And now, for something different Tuesday, May 26 2009 

video Zelda Rose 2:27 PM

Captain Cross Dresser is a cartoon being shown on Cackle.com. It portrays a mild-mannered accountant (voiced by Fred Willard) who wants to be more open about his crossdressing. But he soon discovers he has powers beyond being fabulous…

It’s cute, and it has a certain amount of respect for transpeople. Well worth a look.

 

F*** You Thursday, May 7 2009 

video Zelda Rose 9:35 PM

A group of YouTubers make a video for Lily Allen’s song “F*** You.” A wonderful reply to racism, homophobia, and pretty much all the haters out there. And yes, she sings and they show the F word.

via Joe My God

 

How low can you go? Pretty damed low. Thursday, Apr 30 2009 

politics and video Zelda Rose 7:58 AM

Rep. Virginia Foxx (R. NC) on the murder of Matthew Shepard:



The truth about Matthew Shepard’s death is unquestioned. He was not a victim of a robbery; he was murdered because he was gay. Matthew Shepard was lured by two men into their car, driven to a remote area, pistol-whipped, tortured, then tied to a fence and left for eighteen hours before he was found by accident. In a coma, he died days later.

One of Matthew’s killers pleaded guilty; the other was convicted. Both are serving live without parole terms in prison. The Wyoming legislature-which did not have a hate crimes bill-passed one in response to the killing. A bill-the Matthew Shepard Act-extending hate crimes as a federal offense to gender and sexual orientation-has been stymied in the past but was up for a vote in this Congress.

Which is when Rep. Foxx opened her mouth.

To say that Matthew Shepherd was not killed because he was gay is a lie. The facts in the case prove it. To make this statement in front of Matthew’s mother-who has had to suffer the loss of her child-is cruel and insulting. Rep. Foxx reveals herself for what she is-a homophobic bigot.

The Matthew Shepherd Act passed the House yesterday 249-173, and is up for consideration in the Senate.

 

Comments, I haz them Wednesday, Apr 29 2009 

comments and passing Zelda Rose 2:05 PM

I got more comments on my last post than on anything I’ve written in a while. And I’ve got followers!

So, a few of those comments…

Caroline said:

We all wish we could just pass and good luck to all who can but nature is cruel and even a lottery win can’t fix some of us.

Then again have you had a good look at your fellow citizens? Nature has often also left them short of an ideal beauty and they also just have to get on with life too.

When I was a lil’ tranny, my Auntie Crystal said that we should never shun our sisters-even if they are homely. Because their needs and hopes are just as legitimate as ours. And maybe they never had someone help them out-like people helped me as I got started.

Tina Jensen wrote:

…I know I’ve never been a male as society defines it and I’ll never be a girl in that world either. Actually, being a Transgendered girl is something I’m very proud of. Passing can be good in that it doesn’t draw undue attention, but do any of us really pass…I mean really?? Maybe we are special people who someday will be accepted as everyone else is. Getting out and setting a positive example is what really counts.

Maybe we are special people-we certainly have a unique perspective on gender. We have experienced both male and female, and we can understand things that others never will. We should embrace this!

I’d prefer to be unnoticed than to be stared at. And to be treated like anyone else. As for being positive examples? I know that’s asking a lot, but if you can manage not to act stupid in public I’ll settle for that…

Renee wrote:

…I’m glad this particular notion – that passing isn’t the “be all, end all” of transition – is gaining steam in our community. It’s important that those who feel trapped by their circumstances, when they come looking for information, don’t feel doubly-isolated because they happen to have unfortunate genes. And the only way for that top happen is to talk about it every chance we get.

What the community needs is to stop trying to segregate and label everyone and accept that there are no simple answers, and not everyone is going to fit your ideal. Appearance is just part of it, but it’s something that we have managed to fixate on. Talking about this will help move us towards acceptance among ourselves and the general public.

Some of you wrote some great compliments, and I’ll just say thank you. And hope that you’ll continue to find something useful from my stuff…

 

Pass GO, collect your life Thursday, Apr 23 2009 

confidence and passing and preconceptions Zelda Rose 9:23 AM

There is a discussion on passing on the SCCLounge, which I moderate. One of the questions was about people who don’t care if they do or do not pass, and I wrote:

I do not know if I represent “the other side” but do know I’m not overly concerned with being “passable” or “blending” when I go out. But I do think I make a pretty good Zelda.

I am over six feet tall and am not in the WNBA. I can’t shop at Bebe or Forever 21-I’m a Lane Bryant and Torrid girl. I’ve got a few miles on the clock, which I am reminded of daily. And my personal style varies from Goth girl to casual funk to damned near soccer mom.

Okay, this one time, at SCC I went to the mall with a really nice, very cute and feminine tgirl. It was a Saturday afternoon, with lots of people shopping. We spent about an hour and a half in the mall, shopping and talking and in general enjoying ourselves. As we were leaving, this girl asked me “How do you stand it?”

“Stand what?” I said, wondering what had happened.

“The stares,” she replied with a slightly concerned look on her face.

“What stares?” I replied. Which took her by surprise. After all, I *had* to be worried about having been “clocked” as a tgirls! Right?

Well, no. I had not paid attention to other people’s reactions to me. I had not been looking around to see who had or had not been looking at me. Because it did not matter. I wasn’t looking for other people’s valitation, or for their acceptance or lack of it. I just was there, another person shopping in the mall.

I do know that the vast majority of people tend not to really say or do anything when they see me. Either I register as another woman in their mind, or they know something is different about me but they don’t care enough to stop and take another look, or they know exactly what I am but it is not an issue for them. A handfull will take a second or longer look at me. They may say something to the person they are with, or not. They may smile at me, smirk knowingly, giggle, frown, or something else. And once in a blue moon, someone will actually make a remark to me or at me.

And I accept that those are all possibilities. But I do not let them discourage me. What I *do* is to go out and be myself. Because I have the choice of staying at home, woried that I am not going to blend or pass and trap myself in my own closet. Or, I accept who I am and just, well, do it.

I do feel comfortable with who I am-and that make a lot of difference. It’s far more likely that you’ll blend into the crowd if you feel like you belong there rather than feel like you’re an outsider. Passing? That’s good genes and/or medicine, and the ablilty to totally get rid of everything stereotypically male you can.

But for me, I’ll just be the best Zelda I can be.

 

The Gathering Storm Saturday, Apr 18 2009 

humor and video Zelda Rose 11:58 AM

Steven Colbert warns us about gay marriage…

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Colbert Coalition’s Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor NASA Name Contest

 

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