What Happened To Zelda At SCC, Finally. Friday, Jan 11 2008 

SCC Zelda Rose 7:06 PM

Okay, so much for actually thinking I can keep up with a blog on a regular basis. And my detailed recap of Southern Comfort 2007? Right…

So let’s do what I normally do-recap wildly.

*I like the new hotel; I hate the new hotel. The location, while away from our traditional Downtown/Buckhead area, does have the advantage of a large mall across the road, lots of restaurants in the area, and easy access to the major highways. The lobby is simply gorgeous, with lots of places to sit and talk. The ballrooms are large, and there were fewer problems with the temperature than in the past. The catering was decent, and there was a franchised Starbucks kiosk in the lobby for that morning emergency caffeine charge. The staff was friendly, and professional. And it was nice to not have to pay for parking.

The bad part? The hotel was totally unprepared for us. I had issues with getting my room cleaned. I checked in on Monday, and it was Wednesday before anyone cleaned the room. I had to call for clean towels Tuesday and Wednesday, at which time I went to the desk and politely complained. Which got me a comped night, and a promise to have the room cleaned the next day. Saturday, the toilet nearly overflowed, I called for someone to look after it. Nobody ever came; fortunately, it cleared itself up enough to work, partially, the rest of the stay.

Getting served in the lounge? Don’t be in any rush for drinks or food. They were understaffed most of the time; it only got better towards the end of the week when they realized that, gee, we DID spend a lot of money in the hotel…While the food service for the banquets were decent, the wait staff seemed indifferent at times. Oh, and why do upscale hotels STILL charge for broadband?

I guess we’d been spoiled with the Sheraton Colony Square, which is now W Atlanta Midtown. The staff was incredible, the service was great, and the rooms were nice. Moving to a Crowne Plaza, I thought we would have a similar level of service. What I wonder is, did someone with SCC not make it clear what kind of clients we are, or did the Crowne Plaza not believe it? Regardless, we’re back there for 2008, and I refuse to cut them any slack.

*Being across from Perimiter Mall was very convenient. Besides having the only MAC store in the city, they also have Sephora and a great selection of shops and places to eat.

*Little Five Points is still a must visit stop for me. Even if it seems like it’s losing some of the charm it had when I first went down there. But as long as my favorite jewelery place is still there, and it keeps feeling like Magazine Street, I’ll return.

Silver King
The Bazaar
1130 Euclid Ave.
Atlanta, GA
404-547-2866

*I found, thanks to my friend Adrya, a great shoe store. Run by a very nice lady, who was very helpful, they had shoes that fit and looked good-and weren’t hooker shoes! I will definitely return.

A Step Above
470 Ponce de Leon Ave. NE
Atlanta, GA 30308
404-888-0022

*I can’t say how much I appreciated Sabrina Pandora spending a day with me, and seeing her is always a good thing. She’s a friend, and a critic, and I hope she realizes how much I appreciate her.

*Going out to dinner with friends is something that means a lot to me. And it’s part of why I like SCC. Getting to spend time with the DC Posse, making new friends, enjoying good food. It’s so simple, yet it makes me feel so much more…complete?

*Atlanta is a wonderful city. Even though the traffic is hell-but living in Dallas has taught me a lot about dealing with it. I feel very comfortable going out, the city’s Southern charm hasn’t been lost, and I look forward to returning.

*I get to see old friends, make new ones. And that’s worth the trip.

*There is still nothing like being in a room where you are part of the majority, you don’t feel so alien. Even if you are.

*Flying still sucks. I’d rather drive, but 14+ hours straight? Um, no.

*I made a conscious decision to “dress down” a bit this year. Not totally, because I can’t do it. But to look more, um, passable? God, I hate that word…

 

This is me, with Vickie Collins and Vicky Renee-two people I’ve known since my first SCC. Yes, I need to lose weight. But I think I look pretty good. I avoided doing the gothgirl thing most of the trip, did not wear a corset once, but in case you think I lost it:

 

Me and the fabulous Mistress Divinyl at Twinkledome. I’d hate her if she wasn’t such a great person; she’s gorgeous.

I did get compliments on how I looked, including a few from people I did not expect. So, expect more fabulousness!

*Did I mention how much I like seeing people? Good. I also came to realize that some people I need to let go. One particular person, I have tried to be friends with for years, even when he’s caused me headaches on the SCCLounge. What finally happened was I realized he was never going to let go of things that happened in the past, and I wasn’t willing to sit by and be his audience. I don’t feel good about this, but I feel it was necessary.

*I don’t feel such a need for “support” as much as I do friendship. I’ve been trying to get a dinner group going here in Dallas, and our first one went well. But people have shown little interest in a second one, and I feel like I’m back in New Orleans, where nobody wanted to do anything but go to meetings and one place to eat…

*No post-SCC letdown. I managed to keep the feeling going for quite some time. I guess it was worth the sacrifice I made to attend…

And I can’t wait for SCC2008.

 

Happy Christmas! Thursday, Dec 27 2007 

holidays Zelda Rose 10:08 AM

I hope everyone has a fabulous, fabulous, Christmas!

Wait, what do you mean, it’s happened already? Damn…

Fine, hope you had a fabulous Christmas, and you have a great New Year. Okay?

*goes back to bed*

 

Big D? Wednesday, Dec 12 2007 

Dallas Zelda Rose 8:28 PM

Someone asked on one of the LiveJournal communities I am a part of about moving to Dallas, and if anyone had any advice. Of course, I had to reply…

I moved to Dallas in August of ’06 from the New Orleans area. I didn’t know anyone here, knew very little about the city or the “trans community.” I was moving because my spouse did know people here, could no longer live in New Orleans, and didn’t like my suggestion about moving to Atlanta (which I think is far more transfriendly, but I digress).

I’ll just hit the high and low points:

Dallas is a pretty “accepting” city. It’s got a very large and public GLBT community, mostly centered around the Cedar Springs/Oak Lawn area. The Sheriff is a lesbian Latina, openly gay men have run for and won public offices in the DFW area. And in the last election, an openly gay city councilman nearly won the mayor’s race. Recently, the Dallas Voice did an article on a post-transition Dallas Police officer who was not the first person to do so in the department.

Dallas has one of the largest populations of GLBT people per capita in the country. It also has the largest church with a predominantly GLBT congregation in the country, too. Go figure.

There are quite a few companies that have GLBT-affirmative policies regarding employment-including many Fortune 500 companies. If you are looking for a job in the financial, IT, healthcare or transportation fields, there are opportunities in the Dallas area.

The people here are actually very friendly and open. Neighbors tend to be helpful. There are some very nice neighborhoods in the city, and you can find someplace you’ll feel comfortable in.

Contrary to rumor, you can get more than barbecue and Mexican food in Dallas. Though there is some great barbecue and Mexican food here. There’s also incredible Latin, Asian, Indian, Mediterranean and African cuisines at reasonable prices.

And now, what sucks…

Traffic is hellish; the drivers morons. Really. My car insurance went up when I moved here. There are constant roadworks, accidents tie up major roads for hours, the junctions and intersections make no sense, and drivers simply refuse to allow you to merge or change lanes and insist on tailgating you everywhere. Expect any commute to take at least an hour, if you’re lucky.

There’s no income tax-but every other tax is bleeding. Wages are higher than most of the South, but so is the cost of living. Housing prices have yet to take much of a dive, too.

There is a definite class system in Dallas, based on where you live and how much you make. It helps if you live in the right part of town or the right suburb. Displays of wealth are common and expected. The first shopping mall was in Dallas; they never stopped building them. Think of any prestigious brand and they probably a boutique or store here.

The crime rate in Dallas is shocking, and it’s been bad for years. “Hate crimes” are rare, but robberies and assaults are not uncommon.

And while Dallas may be pretty accepting, just a few miles away you’re in redneck Texas. Plus, there are parts of Dallas I wouldn’t dream of going into at any time of the day…

You may have noticed I have not talked a lot about the transgender community in Dallas. Because there isin’t much of one. There are support groups, and some excellent therapists. But socially, simply making friends among the locals has been hard. The vast majority of transpeople are not out, or have managed to stealth themselves well enough they don’t feel a need to make contact with others. The friends I have here I found through mutual friends in other places or by being lucky.

However, I will say that the friends I have here have been wonderful people who are generous to a fault and I am happy to know.

When Nicole Meadows said this place will eat your soul, she’s not kidding. It’s a hard place to live if you don’t know people, and it’s an easy place to feel lost in. I know I have…

Overall, if you’re moving here for family or work, do it. If you are moving here for a social scene, there are better choices…

 

Project Runway-episode 4 Wednesday, Dec 5 2007 

ProjectRunway Zelda Rose 10:02 PM

The season 4 opening is, meh.

Chris-“Project Runway should have a perfume”

Heidi does the model cut; this week two go. Jack takes Ricky’s model, the bitch.

In the workroom-it’s Tim and Nina Garcia, who’s never been there. Photos of fashion fugglies. Everyone has to select a trend before they find out what the challenge is. Oh no, TEAMS OF THREE and they have to create three looks incorporating all three fugglies, as a line, updated to today…

Now they have to chose teams and leaders:

Chris, Sweet P and Steven
Jillian, Rami and Kevin
Ricky, Victorya and Elysa
Kit, Christian, and Jack

Fabric shopping and the fights have started…

Ricky figures out he needs to talk to Elysa in her language-which is unknown to most mortals…

Commercial break. This week’s challenge is, honestly, not impressing me. Yet.

Day two…Shiny, happy designers.

Stephen does a great Tim imitation.

Victorya is taking over Ricky’s outfit, and he doesn’t like it.

The models come in, and honestly, things are better than I expected. Well, almost. And the bitching has started. I see Victorya and Ricky having a catfight, soon…Like, now. She’s ignoring Ricky, and he’s fuming.

Jillian thinks Kevin is taking too long. So’s Rami.

Tim arrives…Likes Kat’s group, worried about Chris’, picks a bit on Jillian, gives Ricky’s team the “not well finished” which is deadly, and Victorya is acting like she’s in charge.

Victorya is being a bitch. She wants to lead from the back, and let Ricky take the bullet.

Midnight comes, Jillian’s unhappy because Kevin’s shorts are not done. MORE Victorya vs. Ricky. Auff them both, at this point.

Commercial break. The producers are ramping up the Victoria/Ricky thing way too much.

Oh, great, a Top Chef holiday cook-off. Right…

Runway day! Elisa is the sane one between Victorya and Ricky. Scary. Which Victorya is redoing her outfit. Kevin’s busting ass to finish.

Tim sends the models in. No major disasters. Yet.

Ricky and Victorya FINALLY agree on something. Gravity is repealed.

Kevin got the shorts done in the last minute, and they look good.

Another commercial break..Pet the kitty break!

Runway time! Special guest judge? Donna Karan.

Team Jillian first-Not bad, it looked like a collection
Team Chris-Not as cohesive a collection I think.
Team Christian-Maybe not so good
Team Ricky-Um…

They’re doing the winner right off-Team Jillian. Which made sense. it WAS a collection.

Team Christian moves on to the next challenge.

Which leaves Ricky and Chris. Chris’ collection gets taken apart. Steven and Chris get taken down, Sweet P gets props. Ricky’s team gets nailed for construction, Elysa got props, Victorya actually gave Ricky props. Ricky got whacked for construction, again. And Victorya is shooting Ricky down, of course. When Heidi does the who would you auff question, Sweet P nearly has a heart attack and apologizes profusely to Steven…

So who should be auffed? Steven or Victorya, though Ricky dodged a bullet last challenge and when someone ends up back in the basement again, they usually don’t get a third chance…(at 9:54 PM)

And who gets auffed? Chris. Damn! I am so mad right now…

I’ll miss him.

Next week, BIG drama with Jack! I heard rumors, but I won’t say anything until I know for sure…

 

Confession Sunday, Dec 2 2007 

ProjectRunway Zelda Rose 10:13 PM

I love Project Runway. It’s been an obsession since last season, and anyone who’s on my LiveJournal knows just how bad I am. I have been doing episode reviews this season, and I am going to start cross posting them here. Why? Because I can, kids…

 

Transgender Day of Remembrance Monday, Nov 19 2007 

TDoR and transphobia Zelda Rose 7:28 AM

Tomorrow is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. It is a day every year set aside to remember those transpeople who died this year, so far. Reading the list is sobering; reading the causes of death frightening.

The worst part? That we have to have a day like this, every year.

 

TransGriot: Why The Transgender Community Hates HRC Wednesday, Nov 7 2007 

politics Zelda Rose 9:13 PM

When your GLB friends ask why transpeople have issues with HRC, show them this:

TransGriot: Why The Transgender Community Hates HRC

 

Connections Tuesday, Nov 6 2007 

living and preconceptions and quote Zelda Rose 10:47 AM

My friend Jenny posted this excerpt from her friend’s Flickr profile:

I think that it is extremely important that we all, as representatives of the transgender community, present ourselves publicly with intelligence, dignity, empathy, beauty, grace & class., (and a bit of humor never hurts!)
What you do behind closed doors is all up to you, but pride in ourselves and our sisters I should think would be how you would like others to see you… ;))) Presentations which degrade the female being are reflections of thought patterning which sees GG’s as something to objectify.. it’s wrong in my book and it offends my inner female…If you truly are TG then you respect your inner true self and your sisters. Period. It’s true that it’s almost impossible for most of us to fool anyone, BUT if you can present yourselves with pride and confidence… it does, believe me, open many doors and minds…. and you will be able to step out into the world with confidence… ;D

I agree with some of her opinions. Like it or not, we are representatives of the “transgender community” every time we are out in public. I think it’s more important to present yourself as a person, not a stereotype. What is intelligent, dignified, beautiful, graceful and classy is up to the individual. I know that the way I present myself may not the same way some others would, but I try to be someone who is not going to embarrass herself.

No, I don’t think wearing a micro mini, your tightest spandex top, stockings with garters peeking out from under the skirt and five inch stilettos is the best thing to wear to Wal-Mart. But I also don’t think you have to wear a tshirt, jeans, and flip-flops* either. There are other choices, you know?

I’d like to hear your opinions…

*The outfits that the majority of the GG’s who shop at my local Wal-Mart seem to chose…

 

Well, that went well Tuesday, Oct 30 2007 

comingout Zelda Rose 8:22 PM

My stepson is 18. I’ve known him for nine years, and he’s grown into a very understanding, very smart kid. Someone who has accepted a lot of things in his life-good and bad. And tonight, I came out to him as a crossdresser. He never knew, but he took it very well. I don’t think he wants details, but he’s decided he can accept it.

Wow.

 

Zelda and the therapist Wednesday, Oct 17 2007 

girltime and therapy Zelda Rose 10:22 PM

So, anyway, Tuesday I have an appointment with my therapist. She’s done some good, and I like her a lot. During one session, she asked me if I wanted to come en femme sometime. I said I’d think about it…

I’d thought about it, and decided that I was going to do it. I mentioned it to the spouse last week; she didn’t seem to object. But by Tuesday, I was rethinking the idea, because I have a tendency to over think things. Which is part of why I’m in therapy.

I did decide it was time, and managed to get ready faster than I had in a long time. And I was ready just as I needed to walk out the door. Checking the look out in the mirror: purple knit top (a Target find from a couple of years ago), jean skirt (Torrid), black tights, and black boots. Just a little bit of jewelery, checked the hair, out to the car, and a half hour later I was at the therapist’s office building. One last check, deep breath, cross the parking lot…

Walked into her office, and she gave me a big hug. She said I looked great. I thanked her, and I did think I looked pretty good. Not really flashy, but not too demure. It was a balance, and I thought it worked. She offered me a soda, and I sat down on the couch, crossing my legs under me. It’s a little thing, but it’s part of the subtle things you have to do as a girl. The session went well. I talked to her about some things my spouse and I had discussed, some things I’d talked to my friend Sabrina about, and my own feelings. I know I still have a lot of work to do on my issues.

One of the things we both agreed on is that, when I’m en femme, there are some differences in my personality. Zelda is a bit more self-assured, open, and doesn’t agonize over decisions as much. It’s those positives that I need to find in myself the rest of the time.

After the session, my therapist gave me a big hug and told me how happy she was I had come, and that if I wanted to do it again I was certainly welcome. I got back in the car, and since I had some time left until I had to be home, I did the logical thing.

I went to the mall.

Well, the closest mall I could get to in a short period of time, which was Irving Mall. I had never been there, and I thought I might as well…The mall was a bit dead, surprising on an early afternoon during the week I thought. The only thing I bought was a couple of pairs of cheap sunglasses (hey, girl’s gotta have them). There were some shoes that I liked, but not in my size (of course), and Lane Bryant didn’t have anything I lusted for.

For the most, it was positive, but then I do not usually worry about being out in public. I was not trying to attract attention, but when you are as tall as I am, and not the most feminine person out there, you do get noticed. Though most of the time, people don’t really pay attention. If you’re confident in yourself, if you don’t act or feel like you do not belong there, things go a lot better.

One thing that did happen was I needed to go to the bathroom. I have gone to public restrooms before, and never had a problem. Yet. And my choices were limited. I didn’t want to try going to the public bathroom in the mall; wanted a bit more privacy and less chance to run into someone. So I went to Macy’s, found the ladies room that was off the beaten path, and ducked into the closest stall. Because there were a couple of women in the other stalls. Did what was necessary, waited until they’d left, then walked out. Just like any other woman…

I drove back to the house, changed, and thought about the day…I think things went well, I felt better about things, and Zelda got some time out.

All good things.

 

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