Why the T in LGBT is here to stay | Salon
An excellent explanation why certain gay people need to get a clue when it comes to why transgendered people need to be part of ENDA…
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Why the T in LGBT is here to stay | Salon Thursday, Oct 11 2007
legal and politics and preconceptions 4:39 PM
Yes, I’m finally catching up with SCC, shut up already… Sunday, Oct 7 2007
SCC 6:23 PM
I’m going to try to do this chronologically, though we’ll see how long that lasts…
Monday
I learned my lesson years ago-don’t try to take the earliest flight, take the one you can wake up for. It was pouring rain, and I found out that parts of Loop 12 (the main road from my house to the airport) was flooding. Why major highways flood here, I don’t understand…A quick Google Maps session found me an alternate route, and I got to the parking lot with no problems, in time to get to DFW and wait for the plane to get in. While some people hate DFW, it’s not a bad airport. Though putting Starbucks on the other end of the terminal is a killer. AirTran is a pretty good airline, but the seats on their planes leave a lot to be desired… Forty-five minutes late taking off, we got to Atlanta with little drama.
By the time I got to the baggage claim, my bags were waiting. Off to Alamo to get car; their kiosk was actually easy to use, and the bus got us to the lot quickly. Where everyone waited while they sorted us all out; normally you just pick out a car in your class and go. Not today. Took far too long, but I got a Jeep Liberty out of it. A while back, my spouse had looked at one but didn’t seem impressed. This was not an ’08, which has supposedly been improved, but it was pretty new and in great shape. But it needed a bigger engine; too many downshifts from the automatic transmission for me.
Called Sabrina Pandora to warn her I was on the way. One of the people I had to see on this trip was Sabrina, and she graciously offered to chaperoned me around for the afternoon and take me to her favorite nail salon. See, for me, SCC really starts when I get my nails done, and ends when I take the polish off Saturday night/Sunday morning…
Found Sabrina’s house, after making a big mistake. Met Max the Wonder Dog, saw the Sabrina Cave, and we were soon off to running the roads. Sabrina’s a very comfortable person to be around; I haven’t known her as long as some other people, but it’s like we’ve known each other forever. We can be totally honest with each other, and though she thinks I don’t listen sometimes, I really to take her advice.
By the end of the day, we were at Sabrina’s nail place (which she needs to send me the name of, for future reference). I don’t get acrylics or anything else, just get my natural nails polished. I’d been letting them grow out some, and with a beautiful OPI red polish (which I’ll have to look at later for the color), I felt a lot better. Even if the rest of me was totally drab…
Dropped Sabrina off at her house, promising to drop in on her at work later in the week. After six years, SCC was moving from a downtown location (the Sheraton Colony Square is being converted into a W Hotel) to the Crowne Plaza Ravinia, out on the Perimeter (the I-285 loop) near GA400. This meant we were further from downtown and the airport, but we were across from Perimeter Mall. I had no idea what was in the vicinity, so I was going to have to relearn where things were…
The hotel is very pretty, with a huge indoor garden. I got checked in relatively quickly, but the hotel made a big misstep from the start. Normally, I use a debit card to pay for things. After having had problems with credit cards in the past, I don’t use one except in very extreme circumstances (under pain of death by the spouse
I’d shipped a package to the hotel, and when I asked the bellman he had a time finding it. But I got my stuff up to the room (which didn’t have a number on the door), and the room was actually pretty nice. Large enough for two beds and some space to move, but the dresser was tiny. And the bathroom lighting was terrible. Unlike the Sheraton, the bathroom lights were fluorescents and I couldn’t just replace the bulbs to get more light. Oh, and the AC takes forever to cool the room (though it did manage to keep it relatively cool the rest of the week).
Got to bed at a decent time, which won’t happen again the rest of the week…
Zelda wore: boring boy stuff (trust me, it gets better….)
Thought for the evening Friday, Aug 31 2007
preconceptions 8:33 PM
Posted on the door of one of the (unisex) bathrooms at a coffee house:
“Traditional bathrooms sign would leave you to believe that there is a difference between a man and a woman in a skirt.”
Dallas Voice :: Casino denies access to Dallas trans woman Saturday, Aug 4 2007
legal 6:54 PM
Dallas Voice :: Casino denies access to Dallas trans woman
A local transgender woman who recently was denied access to a Louisiana casino is claiming discrimination.
But representatives from the casino and the state’s Gaming Control Board said establishments can bar people from entering if photos on their identifications don’t match their appearances.
Jody Pleasant, 31, of Dallas has been living as a woman for five years. On June 3, Pleasant, her male lover and two gay male friends went to Boomtown Casino & Hotel in Bossier City, La.
However, because Pleasant’s ID indicates that she’s male, the man working the door wouldn’t let her in, she said.
“He said if you’re a man, then you have to look like a man to come into our casino,” Pleasant said. “We were just dismissed, totally. It was a blatant display of discrimination to me.”
Pleasant, as a female impersonator whose stage name is Kandy, is unable to get her ID changed because she has not undergone transition surgery and Texas has no gender-marker law. However, she said on the day in question, she was not dressed “provocatively” and looked similar to the photo on her ID.
To add insult to injury, Pleasant said, the man working the door required her to stand in front of his podium where she was mocked by other entering guests. She said she waited there for 10 minutes for a manager, who confirmed she would not be allowed in.
“They were all staring and pointing, and it was just a very demeaning situation to me,” Pleasant said.
Pleasant said it’s the first time she’s had an issue with her ID not matching her appearance, including at airports.
In response to the incident, Pleasant said she sent the casino a certified letter and called a another manager but received no apology. She said she also has contacted Lambda Legal. After being denied access to Boomtown, Pleasant and her friends went to another casino and were allowed in with no problem.
Max Mills, director of casino operations for Boomtown, indicated that the state’s gaming control act requires establishments to ensure that appearances match IDs to prevent access by people such as those who are underage.
“We have to be black and white, by the book. Either the person’s ID is representative of how they look or it isn’t,” Mills said. “We want everybody on the boat [casino], but then again if the gaming act says something, we have to follow it scrupulously.”
Mills denied that discrimination was behind the decision, adding that many LGBT people patronize the casino.
“I’m sure it was a very embarrassing situation, and I feel bad about that,” he said. “Hopefully our guys had tact and had a certain amount of good manners and appropriate language and so forth.”
A spokesman for the gaming commission, who asked not to be identified, was unable to cite a specific section of the lengthy act that could be interpreted to require that appearances match IDs. However, he also said the act gives casinos the leeway to set their own policies.
“Any business operator can exclude certain people based on their own judgments and rules,” the spokesman said.
Paul Scott, executive director of Equality Texas, said it’s unlikely Pleasant would be able to change the gender marker on her driver’s license until she has undergone transition surgery. Even then, she would have to take the matter to court, where the change may or may not be approved depending on the judge.
A comprehensive gender-marker bill was introduced in this year’s legislative session but failed to make it out of committee, Scott said. The bill would have allowed people to change their birth certificates, names and driver’s licenses with affidavits from doctors saying they are undergoing transition surgery.
“The Department Of Motor Vehicles, they want acceptable ID, so there’s not any opposition from the department itself. It’s more so just coming up with a set, definitive policy that’s covered by state law,” said Scott, adding that advocates have been working on the issue for roughly a decade. “It’s a matter of getting the Legislature educated.”
E-mail wright@dallasvoice.com
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition August 3, 2007
© Copyright by DallasVoice.com
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Proof that I don’t burn in the sunlight Tuesday, Jul 31 2007
This was the first time I was in Atlanta, in 2000. Yes, I was going to Southern Comfort, but first I was going to stay with friends who were taking me out shopping in Little Five Points. I’d flown in the day before and had spent the night at their house, which is when I found out that as nice as they were, I was really putting them out, so I was going to leave their place a day early and move into the hotel where SCC was being held at that year.
But before that, we were going out. And for me, it was a huge moment. Because up to that point, I had never been out during the daytime, or been out shopping as a girl. I threw on my best gothgrrl/alternachick look, and off we went.
And I had a fun day! A great lunch at the Vortex, shopping in the stores in the area. I found my favorite ring on this trip, too. Towards the end of the afternoon, I posed for one last picture, in front of Throb, which was a fetish/alternative clothing store. I spent five minutes posing, waiting for her to take the shot. Finally I just put my foot down, and that’s the pose you see.
It’s one of my favorites, because it reminds me how happy I was that day, and how I could be out in public and actually be accepted. For me, it was an important day-and one early step.
Now, what happened afterward…
I got directions to the hotel, in Buckhead, and left Stone Mountain for what should have been a short drive. Of course, I get lost. Badly. Eventually, I find the right exit, start driving down what I hope is the right road, see the hotel, and when I walk in the door I realize I’m in the right place.
The rest of that weekend? Fabulous! But that is another story…
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I got an excuse from my mom… Saturday, Jul 28 2007
living and posting and SCC 6:33 AM
I have not posted anything here recently. My job has been incredibly hectic and time-consuming, and having a nice bout of depression has not helped. When I am depressed, I do not feel like writing, which is counter to what others do. I know, I have to be different…
But now that I am getting closer to returning to a normal schedule at work, I will start working on my blogging again. And I have to start getting things sorted out for Southern Comfort as well. I took care of booking a room a long time ago, and by waiting got a much cheaper flight this week (on AirTran, and yes I see the irony there). Atlanta is one of my favorite cities, and some of my favorite people live there.
Thanks to everyone who has commented to my posts; I think a viewer mail post is in the future :)
Just take our little test… Saturday, Jul 28 2007
Uncategorized 6:27 AM
 |
You scored as Transgender, You seem to be transgendered.
TS or TG? |
It’s only twenty questions. I’m curious what results other people get, and do they think it comes even close to their own
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Wednesday, Jul 25 2007
Uncategorized 8:55 PM
This was a profile I wrote for an old Geocites page. It’s a bit…fun…
She enjoys traveling throughout the United States and the United Kingdom. Her favorite cities are New Orleans, Atlanta, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and London. Ask about travel arraingements.
What interests her? Bondage, sexual torment, sensation control and enhancement, leather, PVC, latex, corsetry, gloves, dark Domination, Goth, feminization, maids who are into real service, the joys of being transgendered.
She began in New Orleans and brings her erotic dominant stylings and dark Southern roots to Dallas. A new city, with new passions and pleasures.
She enjoys traveling throughout the United States and the United Kingdom. Her favorite cities are New Orleans, Atlanta, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and London. Ask about travel arraingements.
What interests her? Bondage, sexual torment, sensation control and enhancement, leather, PVC, latex, corsetry, gloves, dark Domination, Goth, feminization, maids who are into real service, the joys of being transgendered.
She will push your limits, because that is where we find who we truly are.
Her idea of a perfect moment would be cafe au lait served in a little coffee house in the French Quarter on a fall evening just after the rain . . .
She smokes dark clove cigarettes with an aloof attitude. It’s an affectation, but she doesn’t mind.
She is a lifestyle Domina and does not switch. No matter how nicely you ask.
What gets her attention? A well-written, thought-out profile. A photo; you can see what she looks like, then she should be able to see what you look like. Shared interests, of course. Sincerity, a sense of humor, intelligence, and an interest in what she wants and how you can make her happy. She considers your words carefully; you should too.
You want to know her; you will never know everything about her.Comments Off on
Every picture tells a story Monday, Jul 9 2007
First, look at the picture:
Now, the story…
Saturday morning, in a room at the Sheraton Colony Square in Atlanta. I’m attending the Southern Comfort Conference, the 2004 edition. I had thought I knew what I was going to wear that morning. But then I looked at the leather corset in my suitcase. The one I had gotten a year, custom made by Paul C Leather. Paul had taken my measurements, crafted leather into beauty, charged me a fortune, and gave me something gorgeous. And even comfortable.
Who could resist? Even though I was at a tranny convention, more mainstream than fetish. Why not? My Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt, which is aways perfect with a corset. A long black broomstick skirt that I’d ordered from Australia years before; something long enough to reach my ankles but always looked nice and was comfy.
Out the door, into the world. And I looked good, felt good. Went to classes, lunch, ran into friends, got lots of compliments on how I looked.
By the late afternoon, it was time for the Southern Belles social. The Belles are a social group, with no dues or requirements other than to go out and meet others. I can get behind that…
Trannys and cameras are made for each other. More digital cameras are sold to transgirls for their own Flickr albums and MySpace profiles than any other reason. Combine cameras and social occasions, it’s a perfect mix. After getting some snapshots, I wanted to get a few pictures of my outfit. Which is when I ran into Emma.
Emma is a friend, who I met online years ago on AOL and kept in touch with. She is one of the most creative people I know; artist, decorator, designer. She makes her own outfits. Oh, did I mention she’s one of the nicest people I know?
I handed her my camera, she looked at it for a moment, then photographed me. Not snapshots, real photos. There’s a difference. She knew how to bring out the best in me, and she took the photo you see here. One of the best ever taken of me.
Highlight of the day? Close to it. When I got to see the shot later, I smiled. Because that’s Zelda you see there.
Is that a thousand words?
A few choice words (not mine) Monday, Jul 9 2007
friends 6:42 PM
My friend Sabrina Pandora, from her LiveJournal:
If something that I say or an opinion that I put forth or a feeling that I express offends you or hurts your feelings, then don’t cry about it to anyone but me. Why? Because grown-ups do that. They communicate. If you are upset with me in some way and never communicate it to me in any form at all save second hand (ie through others) then quite frankly, I don’t care. If it isn’t important enough to say something about it to me, then obviously it wasn’t that important. People who have known me for six months know that. I would expect those who have known me longer to know it that much better.
~~~~~
I lead a unique existence in many ways. No, I am not the only one of my kind in any way shape or form, but I’m certainly different than your average joe on the street. There are some suggested guidelines for my lifestyle as well as precedents for what has gone before. But I’m a very big girl. I happen to think that I am capable of making my own decisions, and determining my own course in life. Yes, I do go through rough times, as do we all. Yes, I have made things harder on myself by embracing the lifestyle that I have. Yes, there are plenty of other ways to go about this life of mine. And no, I am not so egotistical as to think that I know better than everyone who has preceded me.
But this is my life. Mine. It is not the girl down the street, nor that guy over there, and their lives are different from mine. What is necessary for them may not be so for me, just as what is necessary for me may not be right for them. And in living it, I seek advice and counsel from many sources to make my own decisions. But they are my decisions to make, and mine to live with. No one else. There have been consequences for my actions as I have changed myself over the past few years, and I have paid them. Perhaps not without some lament nor complaint, but I’m no saint. I’m only human. How many of you can say that you have not done the same in your own lives, though the outward expression most likely was not nearly as drastic? Do you too not seek counsel from those near to you when considering possibilities or encountering hard times? And shall you too be judged for that?
~~~~~
In closing, I’ve a few words for my critics first. If you don’t like the way I dress, the shoes I wear, the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I express myself, the way that I choose to cope with the attention that comes my way, both good and bad, the way I work, the way I play, the way I dance or the way I date… I have a very simple answer.
Don’t watch or listen. Ignore me. That’s the best way I know to show your disapproval of me and my choices. Just ignore me and to you I simply go away.
And to those of you who don’t fall into the categories of those who disapprove, the same advice holds. If you want me in your life, then make an effort to be a part of mine. A friend I hadn’t seen in a long time came to visit me, and we found that after all of these years, we are better friends than ever before, because of the people that we’ve become. And that’s all it takes to be a part of my life- be a friend.
*****
I hope she doesn’t mind that I quoted her. A lot. But I read this today, and it hit home, and says some things I have been feeling for a while but had never put into words.
I have some very smart friends.